Do you need to wash the dishes?
But do you also need to clean the car, decide between florescent or incandescent light bulbs, clarify that text that now feels weird as you replay it for the twelfth time in your mind, go to the gym, and become a better person?
Sometimes we have enough energy for one task. One very small task.
If you’re like me and have ADHD, you might easily see connections and possibilities. This is (sometimes) an amazing creative asset! If you’re a high-performer, you may expect that what you usually can get done is what you should always get done. How great to have that drive! Until the sink smells like funky yogurt and your driven or creative brain guilts you for taking one action on one thing instead of figuring out and doing every thing…RIGHT NOW.
Enter your mantra.
The What: A mantra is a phrase that you repeat.
In many religious traditions, a mantra is a sacred utterance. You can also think of a mantra as a slogan, if thinking in a religious way isn’t helpful to you.
The Why: A mantra is a shortcut. Use it to give your brain a break.
I use mantras as an automatic response, like an email’s vacation setting.
A mantra that saw me through the dark days of my initial ADHD treatment was “we’re not doing that right now.”
This mantra was my automatic response when my feelings were intruding on my tasks. Like the dishes example, I would have energy for one thing. But before I could even get started, my backlogged emotions of guilt, fear, shame, and ‘shoulds’ paralyzed me.
“We’re not doing that right now” worked for me because that mantra did not invalidate my feelings. I was simply telling myself, as I put on my rubber gloves and grabbed the dish-soap, “we’re not doing that [emotional spiral about everything that’s wrong and my fear that it will never be okay] right now.”
The formula for this mantra is essentially “we’re not doing that [insert your distraction] right now, because we’re doing this [insert whatever one thing you have energy to try].”
Your stressful thoughts might be correct or true; that doesn’t mean they get to interrupt you at will. That’s just rude. And even though they’re your own thoughts, they don’t get to be rude to you.
You are allowed to put your stressful thoughts in a container and get to them later.
Try One Thing:
SAY “WE’RE NOT DOING THAT RIGHT NOW” TO YOUR DISTRACTED THOUGHTS 5 TIMES TODAY
Do you try this mantra today? Did you come up with your own? Let me know in the comments below!
[Note: This post was originally part of my ADHD Started Pack, when Try One Thing focused on adults who were newly diagnosed with ADHD. The Starter Pack was 10 posts about coming to terms with a late diagnosis of ADHD. But ADHD, like many disorders, exists on a spectrum. Many of the ADHD struggles and solutions resonate with neurotypical people. So I am updating the Starter Pack with a broader audience in mind.]
