Identify Your Negative Thoughts

If you identify your negative thoughts, you can remove their power over you. Negative thoughts feel very real, and sometimes important, like they are helping you. But the negative thoughts playing on a loop in your head are likely inaccurate and are definitely dragging you down.

If you identify your negative thoughts you can predict them. If you can predict them you can isolate them. If you isolate them, you can destroy them.

I hope this gives you video game vibes. Come on guild! We’ve got a quest.

You can identify your typical negative thoughts two ways: reflectively or reflexively.

Reflectively, as in “reflect on it”:

When you have a few minutes alone, ask yourself, “When do I typically feel bad? Unimportant? Worthless? Like a burden?” These are your typical negative thoughts.

Another approach: Ask yourself, “What am I stressed out about? Worrying about? Avoiding? Dreading?”

Write down what comes to mind (on paper or digitally, whatever works for you).

Reflexively, as in “automatic response”:

When you feel bad out of nowhere, notice it. Again, this is a clue to your automatic negative thoughts.

This may be an actual thought, or a bad feeling in your body, like a tight jaw, hunched shoulders, or sour stomach.

If you can, make a note of it (again, paper or digital).

Now it’s time to connect the dots between your circumstances and negative thoughts.

Look at your list of negative thoughts.

“I’m a bad mom”

“I’ll never get this done”

“My body is gross”

What was going on around you when those negative thoughts came up?

Where were you? What were you doing? Who was with you? Were you tired or hungry?

You may start to notice patterns.

Negative thought: “I’m a bad mom.” Context: Conflict with kids, messy house, screen time. Pattern: When I think about my kids, I compare myself to all the other internet moms and feel inadequate.

Negative thought: “I’ll never get this done.” Context: Talking to my boss, looking at my calendar, checking my email. Pattern: Thinking about all of the work I have to do is overwhelming.

Negative thought: “My body is gross.” Context: Instagram stories. Pattern: Seeing flawless bodies on social media makes me feel miserable and not good enough.

If you aren’t seeing a clear pattern, keep writing out ideas and details.

These are your dots. Take a break and come back later, seeing if there are any new dots you can add or connect. This is not a failure by the way! When you take a break on a mentally stimulating problem, your brain will still be working on it without you realizing. So taking a break is actually a way to engage your whole brain. Good job

Whether you can see a clear pattern or you have a lot of dots, you are going to figure this out. And when you connect the dots between your circumstances and your negative thoughts, you will have a newfound power.

Patterns are predictable. What can be predicted can be isolated. What can be isolated can be destroyed.

The final step: destroy. Check out Do You Need a Mantra? for a quick way to neutralize your negative thoughts now.

Try One Thing:

IDENTIFY ONE NEGATIVE THOUGHT TODAY

Did you identify a negative thought? Realize a lot of your negative thoughts or what caused them? I want to hear about it! Let me know below or send me a message.

[Note: This is Part 2 of the Mantra Series. Check out Part 3, How to Make a Mantra.]