“Every question is a statement in disguise.”
Does that resonate with you? A low-stakes example would be asking, “Are you cold?” when what you mean is “I am cold.”
I make a lot of statements disguised as questions. Last week, I was finishing a beer with friends and wanted to say hi to another group of friends. So naturally I said to the group I was with, “Do you want to go say hi to those other people?” No, they did not.
I felt bad about saying what I wanted to do. So instead, I tried to trick the people I was with into agreeing with me.
It can be so hard to acknowledge our needs up front. Sometimes it feels kinder to gently ask a question instead make a direct statement.
However, the direct communicators in your life might really appreciate you making statements instead of asking questions that you don’t really mean. When you make a statement disguised as a question, your only chance of getting what you want is if your audience understands what you really mean. This results in more work for your listeners, and less chance that you’ll get what you want.
Making statements instead of asking questions is kinder to others. More importantly, BECAUSE YOU MATTER, making statements is kinder to yourself.
You are allowed to have wants, needs, and opinions. They are valid even if no one else agrees, understands, or gets on board.
TRY ONE THING:
What is one direct statement you can make today, instead of asking a question that you don’t really mean?
How did it go? Drop a comment below!
